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What happens when you finally slow down long enough to realize you were drifting?
Plotting a comeback journey is not always easy. As I stepped away from my creative writing for a few weeks, one thought kept coming back to mind: when will I be back?
The truth is, these last few days have not been lazy days. They have been necessary ones. I have been focusing on my mental health. I have been focusing on school. I have been making major changes in my life that were overdue. Some of them were uncomfortable. Some of them were emotional. All of them were needed.
Lately, I have been forced to look at myself more honestly. Not just the version of me that shows up for everybody else, but the version that still has personal goals to finish, deadlines to meet, and a future to protect. At some point, being endlessly available to others starts costing you pieces of your own life. I reached a place where I had to admit that.
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Back to the post….
So I made a decision.
I am prioritizing me now.
That does not mean I stopped caring about people. It means I can no longer keep putting my own progress on pause just because other people are used to having constant access to me. I need to finish what I started with school. I need to reach the financial goals I set for myself within the timeline I laid out. I need to get serious again about the life I said I wanted.
And yes, being distracted for a few weeks was fun. Sometimes distraction feels good because it gives you relief from pressure. It gives you a break from structure. It helps you forget how much responsibility is waiting for you. But after a while, fun stops feeling light when you realize it is pulling you further away from the things that actually matter. What felt like a break started looking more like delay.
That has been sitting with me heavily.
Because the truth is, I do want the comeback. I do want the growth. I do want the version of my life that matches the standards I keep talking about. But wanting it is not enough. At some point, you have to return to discipline. You have to return to focus. You have to start cutting away what keeps eating your time, your energy, and your momentum.
Right now, I know what this season is asking of me. It is asking me to be more intentional with my time, more protective of my peace, and more committed to the goals I have been working toward. It is asking me to stop treating distractions like harmless detours when they have been pulling me further away from what really matters. Most of all, it is asking me to stay focused long enough to finish what I started.